Adrian's Musings
by xLady-Salvatore-Belikovax
Summary: A short, short story recalling Adrian's thoughts after their break-up at the end of Last Sacrifice. Includes snippets of possible upcoming stories - your choice. R&R, thanks!


**Characters belong to Richelle Mead. Just pointing that out. And the short story is just fanmade by me.  
**

I used to be a regular at this website, starting off with quite a few well-appreciated Twilight fanfictions - unfortunately most of them remain on hold indefinitely because of life in general happened and a change in writing-style (that's what happens as you grow older - I was 17 when I started here, now I'm 21) - until I discovered the lovely world of Richelle Mead's "Vampire Academy".

I'm writing this because I want to get back in the game again, not to mention I would really like to practice and brush up on my English. And besides that I would really like to finish all my fanfictions, even the Twilight ones. I had really good plots, I reckon, and I do miss writing about those specific worlds I created within the Twilight-universe. As well as the Vampire Academy-universe.

So, I'm giving you a say in the matter.

I have a few VA-plots that I've had stored up on my computer, for none to read besides myself, for quite a while now. And I need something new to focus on, something to awaken my fanfic-writing once more, so I'm letting you decide which storyline/plot I should pursue.

Before then I will give you a short, short story that's post-LS... Enjoy! :)

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**Adrian's Musings**

How many times had I not seen it now? How many times had my heart not been broken? Again and again, she chose Belikov over me. And every time I let her back in. I sucked it up. Even if she was with me, and she wasn't getting physical with him, she was still cheating on me emotionally.

Rose didn't love me, she never did. She only ever used me as a back-up.

She needed money in order to go after him when he'd been strigoi, and I'd given it to her on the one condition that once she came back that she'd give me a fair chance.

And she did come back, and she was with me – because she owed me. Although, sometimes I swear I could feel something between us. I wasn't sure if it was love or not, but it made my heart ache, made me fall in love with her even more., when she would allow me to get closer, if only for a second.

It frustrated the hell out of me that I couldn't read her mind, especially when she spoke those sweet nothings to me. Those words that really did mean nothing to her, they were just lies in order to string me along.

Just thinking about all that, our time together, made me so angry – at myself – because I never did anything to stop it from happening. Sure, I tried to talk to her about it – told her I understood – but in the end I only pushed her further away from me. Not that she ever was truly mine.

She'd always belong to Belikov.

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Feel free to review - I'd appreciate it if you did though! :) Thanks!

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Anywho...

**Here are your choices:**

_Too Young To Die_ (working title):

This is a story I hold very dear to my heart. It contains various POVs, flashbacks and just a bit of everything: some drama, some humor and a great deal of romance.

**Pairing:** Rose/Adrian

**Book:** Alternate ending to SB (Spirit Bound)

**Summary:** _The night they spent together changed everything. Instead of risking her relationship with Adrian to chase after Dimitri, Rose is faced with decisions she never thought she'd have to make. To be free is to be alive, and to keep fighting, but what if that's no longer a choice you have any control over?_

**Excerpt:**

"Could you heal it away?"

"I don't think so, Rose. I fear it's like Sandovsky's Syndrome – if you would try to heal it, it'll work for sometime, but eventually it'll only break out again. Even if you would choose to go that route, you will most likely still have all the symptoms as before. Just not as severe, and not as often."

"So, you're saying I'm going to die?"

She didn't answer.

"How long do I have?"

"As this seems to have progressed for quite a while... I estimate a couple of weeks. At best I would say a month, maybe two."

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_The Consequence_ (working title):

A story that circulated a whole lot in my head during my earlier days here on FFN. Various POVs is promised in this story.

**Pairing:** Rose/Dimitri

**Book:** Alternate ending to BP (Blood Promise)

**Summary:** _She couldn't bear the thought of leaving his side. She knew he would eventually catch up to her, she knew one of them would end up dead. Was their love really meant to be doomed or was there another way for them to be together, forever? Every decision has its consequences, but the one she makes has the biggest one of them all._

**Excerpt:**

_Adrian's POV_

"She said this wasn't home anymore..."

Christian's eyes narrowed. "So, you're saying she _willingly_ turned Strigoi to be with Dimitri?"

I sighed, feeling my heart break at what I was going to say now. "Yes."

Lissa's hands clasped before her mouth. "Oh my god."

Christian was stunned, too, but didn't say anything. Someone had obviously been rendered speechless; not that I wasn't as dumbfounded as the others. So we sat in silence for a long time after that, everyone thinking about the impossibility that we didn't want to face: Rose... wasn't coming back. The fact that our Rose, who'd always been so adamant about killing Strigoi before, might be turning into one of them now - if she hadn't been turned already, that is; that she might be on her way here, to us, to St Vlad's, as we spoke - and not to greet us as her friends, but as her enemies - and not to mention the fact that she would then see us only as some Moroi she wanted to play with, and maybe take a drink from. That thought alone sent shivers through my spine.

It was Christian who eventually broke the silence. "We need proof."

"Proof?" Lissa exclaimed. "What, are you going to hunt her down?"

"We wouldn't be hunting her down if she was still a dhampir."

The room became quiet again after that, for a few moments, until Lissa sighed. "I think Adrian's right."

We turned towards her.

"That's the first time I've heard that from a woman."

No one acknowledged my badly timed joke.

"What do you mean?" Christian wondered.

She looked between the two of us, lips quivering. "I think she's... I really think she's gone." she sobbed. "That's why it hurts. I think it's the bond."

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_Two and a half months _(working title):

**Pairing:** Rose/Adrian

**Book:** Between BP (Blood Promise) and SB (Spirit Bound)

**Summary:** _When she got back from Russia, Rose promised she would finish school and graduate as a full-fledged guardian. She had two and a half months left, two and a half months during which she grieved Dimitri and finally gave Adrian the attention he'd wanted from her for so long._

**Excerpt:**

It was becoming hard to reign myself in. I wanted to throw something, I wanted to beat someone up... I wanted to _kill_ something. It was really too bad there weren't any Strigoi around to take my rage out on. But if I was being honest with myself, it wasn't rage that I felt. Not really. I felt hopeless, and going to church services didn't help. Dimitri had once told me he had found peace there, and that he came there to think about what he'd done. About the lives he ended and what it all meant. And I realized I couldn't find that - the peace, I mean - because all I saw was Dimitri falling, falling endlessly into that dark water. And that only made me want to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs: "Why won't you give me a break?!"

Not that I was very religious, but if it turned out that there really was a God... well, then he had some major explaining to do. It couldn't be right that one person had to go through so much heartache, and I'd _just_ turned eighteen. It wasn't fair.

"Hey," a voice said cautiously, placing a hand gently on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

I snapped my head to the side and saw Jill stand there, the concern evident all over her face. "What?"

"You're crying..."

I reached up and touched my cheeks. And sure, there were tears there. I hadn't realized I'd been crying, since I'd been replaying those last moments on the bridge in my mind throughout the sermon. Quickly, I wiped them away and forced a smile. "I'm fine." I told her. "It's nothing."

"I'm sorry," she said then.

I looked at her, puzzled. "About what?"

"About Dimitri. I know you guys were close."

_Dimitri..._

"Yeah," I nodded, arms crossed, trying to shake those damn pictures from my mind. "We were."

"If you ever wanna talk..."

I nodded. "Thanks." But no thanks. I knew she cared, and I loved that she actually said that, but I knew Jill wouldn't understand if I told her the truth. She'd probably never been in love, so she couldn't possibly even begin to understand how I felt.

She walked away shortly after that, and I sank back into the church pew and sat there for a while, staring at nothing but seeing Dimitri's face in front of me all the same.

_Would he have said he loved me?_

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**So, these are the stories you get to choose from right now.**

I would love it if you would let me know in either a review or a pm which story you wish to follow/read. Whichever story gets the highest votes until Sunday (if that's okay with you?), I'll start working on rightaway. Until then I will write a little here and a little there on each one of them so I'll be ready once I know which story you would like me to finish before I start writing on "In Search of Peace" and "Before It's Too Late" again.

As I said before, I would love to get back in the game again and I would really appreciate it if you guys helped me out! :) Thanks!

**Remember, these are your choices:**  
Too Young To Die  
The Consequence  
Two and a half months

PS. I know that long author notes like this aren't really allowed on this website, but I didn't know any other way to get the necessary attention. So, please lay off on the hate. :P  
But I do hope you liked the tiny little story included, called "Adrian's Musings" anyway. :)


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